Let's Do This!!!

Summer is waning, the skies are filled with wildfire smoke, and so it must be time to re-embrace our masculinity in the manliest way possible. After 6 years you should all know the deal so I'll keep this brief.

WHAT: 6th Annual Mustache Month
WHO: Any willing to fight the good fight
WHEN: September (or longer if you got the guts)
WHERE: Your upper lip
WHY: Good times, male bonding, and a raging party at the end of the month where you have the chance to celebrate with other like minded individuals.


As always, "Grow them long, wear them proud, and for God's sake keep them waxed!"

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Stash Bash 2011 is set!

Mustachioed Men,

As the growing season concludes we would be remiss to forego an opportunity to flaunt our facial follicle accomplishments amongst the weaker brethren. While I am not one that normally regales in the deficiencies of others, I feel it is my duty as an advocate of the upper lip to ridicule and belittle those individuals that choose to ignore the wonderful gift of growing facial hair. It’s Stash Bash 2011 bitches!

I have good news, timely news, astonishing news and great news. We have selected Fremont and its community as the neighborhood that will benefit from our convention this year (good news). The Stash Bash is scheduled for this Saturday night – you have yet another weekend day to promote the growth of lip hair to your heart’s content (timely news). The timing of the celebration must be altered due to the fact that people still pretend to enjoy watching a soccer ball be passed around for 90 minutes (that’s the astonishing news). Here’s the great news – we will move the start of Stash Bash 2011 up to 5:00 so that those of us that choose to commemorate in a civilized manner will meet for dinner before the uncivilized crowd joins for the 6th annual night of Stash Bash debauchery. What better way to kick off the night than traditional British food at the George and Dragon? Let’s meet at 5 for dinner and drinks before we start our slow shamble toward Fremont Avenue.

Keep in mind that this is a celebration of mustaches and participation is expected. Jackie will have a limited supply of faux stashes for the unfortunate women that lack the required testosterone levels as well as the ladies that made the conscious decision to shave at some point in the last month. As supplies are limited and disappointment runs high, please plan accordingly by either bringing your personal mustache replica or by not shaving.

To those of you entering your first season, please remember that this is a competition. Style, fullness, color, costumes, and props are all encouraged. Given the likelihood of a large group, I encourage those of you that have already accepted defeat to join the Flannel Contingent. If you have no chance of winning and pre-defeat is eminent, the least you could do is dress in the traditional outfit of the manliest of mustached professions, the lumberjacks.

As your schedule becomes clear (read: your wife gives you permission), let me know if you plan on meeting for dinner. Perhaps the mustache is fostering a new level of kindness in me as I would like to reserve enough seats at the George and Dragon. It is my belief that a mustached man does not eat while standing.

Adam "The Dirty Stash"

Posted by The Dirty Stache at 10:50 AM

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